Remember to Believe.

"Blessed is the one
   whose transgressions are forgiven,
   whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the one
   whose sin the LORD does not count against them
   and in whose spirit is no deceit.  "

 Psalms  32:1-2 NIV

I remember so many times going over what Christians call the Roman Roads.  It is the pathway we show those wanting to be forgiven and start a life free in Christ.  Confess God is the one True God, Except His Gift of Mercy, Confess your sins and believe.  Sounds pretty simple.  I think its that last little word that gets me in a pickle.  Believe?  What does that mean?  Well I think the simplest way for me is to choose that things are different.  Choose to look for God's will over mine.  When I find myself looking to Him and Believing in Him,  I find peace, forgiveness and hope. 

Today, I have really been struggling with belief.  Not in Him but in myself.  I look at me, at how others seem to view me and I see imperfection, brokenness, and unworthy.  That's when I get into trouble because I forget belief isn't in me but in Him.  I am praying today that not my will but His.  In Him is blessings.  In Him is life.  All I have to do is believe.

She wept.

"if this man were a prophet he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is--she is a sinner." Luke 7:39 (NIV)

I have always found some kind of comfort in the story of the woman who washed Jesus's feet with her tears. Not because of the way it portrays her servitude or even how it points out the attitudes of others. No it really stands out to me because I am that woman. I have been poor, outcasted and scorned. I have found myself desperate for peace, love and to be saved from my pain. And having found that she gives all she has for it. She lays it all out to obtain it. She knows what others have said about her. She is a prostitute, a whore, a nobody so who would love her. All her shame she leaves at his feet in her tears, all her heart she pours out over his feet, and with all she has left she wipes away the shame and fears she laid there. She is safe. She has found one who takes her as she is and loves her despite what she believes she is.

I think belief has a powerful hold. If I believe that I am nothing more than the negative then I find no hope in my life outside of it. If I believe only the positive then I live a life void of truth. When I accept the good and the bad... when I seek out the one who sees both the good and bad of my life, then I am living a full life. Scars may make someone else say "she is ugly, broken, used" but to him I am beautiful, special and loved.

This may sound like alot of misguided words to some. Maybe you have only found bitterness and scorn in your day. Unfortunately, as people we don't always see how our actions affect others. I know I certainly don't. I don't pretend to have all the answers either. I am a complete mess. But my heart longs and sees the hope in laying it all at God's metaphoric feet. He has never left me or forsake me though others and their choices have. I don't mean to talk alot of blah blah blahs here. I hope you can really see my heart. If you've been broken or hurting its hard to lay it down. Or at least for me I know it can be. I invite you to come cry your tears with me. And then after the tears I hope we can then share the joy that finds us after.

Sweet Dreams!