I have been a bad blogger. I have been so wrapped up in me that I haven't been keeping up. But this is so me. I am like the hare I begin a good race but lose sight of the path after a while. But while I've been away, I have also been contemplating. The contemplation has been both good and bad. I question is my life, is it God's best and where it's going. I question my decisions. I question God. Oh no you say! Question God? Yes.
The bible shows mixed information on questioning God. Look in Genesis when Abraham question God about Sodom and Gomorrah. Moses questioned leading Israel. So questioning God is not unheard of. I think there are times in life when things are beyond what we understand. Isaiah 40 (NKJV) speaks of this. I love how it states things like:
"Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand, Measured heaven with a span And calculated the dust of the earth in a measure? Weighed the mountains in scales. Who has directed the Spirit of the LORD, Or as His counselor has taught Him? With whom did He take counsel, and who instructed Him, And taught Him in the path of justice? Who taught Him knowledge, And showed Him the way of understanding?" (12 - 14)
"To whom then will you liken Me, Or to whom shall I be equal?” says the Holy One. Lift up your eyes on high, And see who has created these things, Who brings out their host by number;
He calls them all by name, By the greatness of His might And the strength of His power; Not one is missing. " (25 - 26)
"Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. " (28)
God knew there would be times when I would question Him. When I would question me in Him. And He loves me anyway.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Winds and Rain Galore.
Okay, so I've been away. Like those disciples in the boat watching the winds and waves rock them back and forth, I have been stuck in my own storm wondering will I survive. I hate rejection. Anyone else out there know what I am talking about? I hate not knowing, understanding or liking the answers either. I'm in a perpetual storm and I am not quite sure when it will stop. Part of me is scared to be completely honest. I have seen many storms in my life and am actually pretty tired of riding them out. Praying and looking for shelter in the only arms there to hold me, God's, is what keeps me going.
What kind of man is he that even the winds and waves obey him? The kind that knows my sorrows, counts my tears (Psalms 56:8), He know my joys and my victories. I know that He knows yours too, whatever the heartache is. You are loved. We don't face these struggles alone. There are others who struggle with us. And He is big enough to hold us all close to Him if we let Him.
There are times, many times I don't feel loved. People are fickle creatures. They have rules, expectations, concepts, judgements etc. I am one of these. And with being a fickle creation comes affecting the other fickle creatures here living with us on earth. No man or women is truly an island to themselves. We are interdependant creatures. For some that scares them and for others that excludes them. But we are all here together needing the others. He made it that way on purpose. He told Adam that He made Eve because it wasn't good for man to be alone. So feeling like I need others is a natural healthy thing. And to want to be needed is as well. So if I had one wish tonight, one prayer would be that God help me see and others how to allow others to feel wanted, needed and loved. It's not all about me.
Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping.The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!” Matthew 8:23-27(NIV)
What kind of man is he that even the winds and waves obey him? The kind that knows my sorrows, counts my tears (Psalms 56:8), He know my joys and my victories. I know that He knows yours too, whatever the heartache is. You are loved. We don't face these struggles alone. There are others who struggle with us. And He is big enough to hold us all close to Him if we let Him.
There are times, many times I don't feel loved. People are fickle creatures. They have rules, expectations, concepts, judgements etc. I am one of these. And with being a fickle creation comes affecting the other fickle creatures here living with us on earth. No man or women is truly an island to themselves. We are interdependant creatures. For some that scares them and for others that excludes them. But we are all here together needing the others. He made it that way on purpose. He told Adam that He made Eve because it wasn't good for man to be alone. So feeling like I need others is a natural healthy thing. And to want to be needed is as well. So if I had one wish tonight, one prayer would be that God help me see and others how to allow others to feel wanted, needed and loved. It's not all about me.
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